From now until Valentine's Day, Hay Queen! will be featuring a series of true life stories of relationship, dating and breakup failures, that are both comical and a lesson to be learned. I along with guest bloggers will contribute to these series just to remind you Queens that love sucks sometimes! But it's always something you can embrace for what it was, or what it is; and grow from it.
My first confession happened over a year ago, and has everything to do with the title! I met this guy, I'll call him Otis, back in December of last year. I was out with my sister and friends at a bar/club. I was the designated driver, so the night was pretty bland. I decided to sit down because I was over the music and lack of quality guys. After sitting down, my sister and I quickly noticed a group of very good looking guys. One guy, in particular, looked super-fine! I had to blink a couple of times to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me. This man was so gorgeous! I'm sure at this point he noticed us looking at him, but I didn't care due to my basic outfit, I figured he wouldn't come to try and talk to me. But to my surprise, he did!
His friends came and sat by me and my friends and they all began speaking with us. One guy from the group sat behind me, and asked me name and if I was having a good time. Otis sat right next to him silently, but smiling. I asked him for his name, and he firmly said, "Otis." He then took my hand and said, "It's nice to meet you." We then exchanged particulars. Where we were from, what we were doing, and how our night was going. The conversation was ever-flowing, and he made me smile a lot. Not just because he was beautiful, but because he entertained me for the night with laughter and intelligent conversation. He told me I was beautiful and that he knew that I probably had a lot of guys hit on me through the course of the night. I responded with a laugh, and said, "Yes, but none of them have gotten this far."
All this time, music was playing and he finally asked me to dance. I told him, "I don't dance." But he grabbed me anyways to the middle of the dance floor. I just stood there with my arms crossed. He grabbed my waist and said, "Come on girl, let's dance!" I backed away and said, "Otis, I told you I don't dance." He grabbed my hands and said, "Oh, you mean you don't twerk. That's fine, we can slow dance." And so we did! In the middle of the floor, amongst all of the ratchet-ry. By the end of the night we exchanged numbers and a hug. And he told me he couldn't wait to take me on a date, exclaiming to my sister and other friends how beautiful I was, and how much we connected.
"Oh, you mean you don't twerk. That's fine, we can slow dance."
Fast forward three weeks. We ended up partying together on New Year's Eve, along with some friends. It was an interesting night, but nonetheless made me fall into deeper like with Otis. We texted throughout the day, and he Facetimed me everyday after we both were home from work. Things were definitely looking up for us. After a month of talking, I was wanting an actual one-on-one date. We had hung out on numerous occasions, but it was always with other people, never alone. We decided to spend a day together, but it was postponed due to his work schedule, but he promised me that the next weekend I could come over to his place, and he'd cook and we'd spend that one-on-one time together. I was so excited for this!
The next weekend is here, and I am excited! We agreed to meet up on Saturday. Although, our texting had decreased, and he no longer was Facetiming me, I wasn't worried because I knew our date on Saturday would allow us to reconnect. I pursued a spontaneous hangout Friday night, but he was out with his friends, and I was too tired to wait until he was done with their outing, but it was okay because I knew I would see him the next day. So, Saturday morning came, and I received....no text. I worried, then shrugged it off. He'll text me this afternoon, I thought. The afternoon came...still no text. All the while, my friends are asking me what I wanted to do that night, and I'm shrugging them off because I had a "date." My mom asked if I wanted to catch a movie with her, which I rejected as well because I was supposed to be spending some time with Otis.
I text him: Hey, are we still hanging out today?
So finally, it's around 3pm.
I text him: Hey, are we still hanging out today?
He responds: Oh, yeah sure. If you want to.
Pause. What do you mean if I want to? You said you were planning a date for us!
I texted him: Yea, I do.
He responds: Okay, what do you want to do?
Pause again. What happened to this date you'd say you planned? Why do I have to remind you that you said you would cook for me, and we'd spend quality time?!?
I respond: It's up to you. I thought you were going to plan something.
He responds: Well I was planning on smoking today.
Pause, one...more...time. WTF?
I respond: Well maybe we can go to the plaza. It's a really nice day outside.
He responds: What would we do there?
I respond: I don't know. Walk around, get something to eat, maybe see a movie?
He responds: Well, I really don't have any money to do all of that.
Pause. Pause. Pause. Pause. What do you mean?????????????????? At this point I don't even know why I'm still texting him, but
I respond: Well maybe we can hangout at your place, watch movies.
He responds: Well, we really don't have any movies over here.
I respond: Well, what do you want to do?
He responds: I really just want to lay back and smoke.
I respond: So do you want to hang out with me?
He responds: Are you going to smoke?
AT THIS POINT I AM LIVID, AND I WANT TO COME THROUGH THE PHONE AND SLAP THE MELANIN OFF OF HIM!
I respond: No. Have a nice night.
Actually he didn't respond. And he never did until three weeks later with a sorry apology. Otis was a DEFINITE FAIL. He was the first guy that I encountered to actually choose a drug substance over spending time with me. And I still to this day cannot understand the reasoning behind that! Some guys are a joke. But luckily, they show how much of a joke they are, and you're able to pull back from them completely.
Have you ever met a guy that chose someone/something over spending quality time together? Comment below!