As I approach my one year mark of having my locs, I can't help but be a little nostalgic of when I first started them.
First off, can we acknowledge that 2016 has sped by super fast? We're nearing the end of the year, and it doesn't seem like real life. I started my loc journey on January 18th, and now that time is closer than my next birthday. Weird.
I remember finally deciding to loc my hair. It was a now, or never decision for me. It old myself, either I start them now, or I'll never get locs. Honestly an unrealistic ultimatum, considering how uncommitted I am to my hairstyles, but that's what gave me the push to two-strand twist my hair for four hours.
And I remember not exactly loving how my twists turned out, but I immediately fell in love with the expectations I had of my locs. And I'm still in love with my hair, but it definitely has not been all rainbows and sunshine. There are some days I wake up and I hate my hair. And on those days I shake my locs and stare in my mirror for at least 15 minutes wishing my hair would grow, then I pin it up or slap a hat on to mask my insecurity for the day.
But then there are days that I'm absolutely in love with it. The frizz, the stiffness, the thickness, budding, length- everything! And on those days, I slowly sink back into the reality of why I decided to start my locs...to find a different version of me.
There are some days I wake up and I hate my hair.
And I'm definitely doing just that; finding a different version of my self. My loc journey is challenging my own ideals of beauty, and it's insightful and terrifying. I often ask how others view my hair. If they find it beautiful, or repulsive. I also asked this question as a loose natural, but not as often. Locs are perceived differently, I find. Luckily, for the most part I have received compliments about my locs. And when I do hear those compliments, I feel happy inside, but unlike when I was a loose natural, sometimes other people's compliments will not suffice my insecurities.
I'm falling in love with my hair all over again. And within that process includes: doubt, questioning, lack of confidence, but also, joy and pride!
How is your hair journey going? Comment below!
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