-by Brie Daniels
I have two love languages - quality time and words of affirmation. I believe because God has a sense of humor, He paired me with my fiancé who does not need either of these things to feel loved by me. His love languages are acts of service and physical touch (PT as we call it regularly).
Quality time for me equates to really unique and fun activities. But despite my best efforts some of my best dates with G have been very simple and quiet evenings.
Take for example, a few weeks ago. Geordan came over and cooked burgers and fries for me while I finished my book edits. On any other day this may not have meant as much but I was so tired from editing that through this simple act, G knocked me off my feet. After I finished we hung out in front of my electronic fireplace and I firmly believe that simple night will be long etched in my memory.
Another time, Geordan asked me if I'd like him to take down my braids (note he’s been doing this way before the Creed movie). Naturally I said yes as calm as I could, all the while trying to keep from melting. That date was paired with us watching this cutesie musical that was extremely lovey dovey and it meant so much to me because one – I didn’t have to take down my braids and two – I know he doesn’t like musicals. He was showing me that as much as he disliked musicals, he loved me more.
Sometimes the simple is what helps you make memories.
One thing I've learned through being with G is that sometimes the simple is what helps you make memories. I've had many nights when I tried to arrange an evening of music or comedy only to be left disappointed to find out who I thought was showing, wouldn't be playing. I've seen that I don't need nearly as much as I think I need and I’ve seen that when we lace in really special and momentous occasions with really quiet evenings, both tend to stand out more for me. I’m able to get the full spectrum of what it means to love and to be loved by somebody and I’ve learned, most importantly, that our relationship can’t be all about me.
When you truly love somebody you try your hardest to help meet their needs. For G, this means finding fun things to do with me and for me, it means being okay with not always doing something. This balance helps him to get out more and me to spend more time recharging before going out into the world and conquering things.
About the Writer
Texas born and bred. Mizzou educated. Brie loves helping girls discover their God given purpose so much so that she wrote a book about it called The Black Girl's Guide to Living on Purpose. In her free time you can find Brie reading, working in ministry, or spending time with friends and her fiancé "G". To read more from Brie or to purchase The Black Girl's Guide to Living on Purpose visit blackgirlswithpurpose.org.